1-2-7-Skills


1-2-7-Skills

Read 1 Timothy 6:3-10

Paul told Timothy to stay away from those who Just Wanted to make money from preaching, and from those who strayed from the sound teachings of the gospel into quarrels that caused strife in the church.

We should honor God and center our desires on him and we should be content with what God is doing in our lives.

How can you keep away from the love of money?  (1) realize that one day riches will all be gone (6:7, 17); (2) be content with what you have (6:8); (3) monitor what you are willing to do to get more money (6:11); (4) love God’s work more than money (6:11); (5) freely share what you have with others (6:18).

We may have all we need to live but let ourselves become anxious and discontented over what we merely want.  The only alternative is to be a slave to our desires.  Greed leads to all kinds of evil: marriage problems, robbery, and more.  To master greed, you must get rid of the desire to be rich.

As for loving God or money, how can you tell which is “number 1” in your life?  How is the “love of money” tugging on your heartstrings now?

Skills

Successful communication and understanding is not that common because:

  • people don’t always feel free to say what they really mean

  • People not always in touch with their real feelings

  • Feelings are some what hard to put into words

  • The same words have different meanings

  • We sometimes hear only what we want to hear

  • We are usually to busy planning our response to hear what is being said.

An effective leader should be more concerned that the problem gets solved, over the message.

Responses that Facilitate Problem-Solving

After a person sends a brief opening feeling message which clues the listener to the possible existence of a problem, the “trainee” usually will not move into the problem solving process unless the trainer sends an invitation:

  • “Would you like to talk about it?”

  • “Can I be of any help with this problem?”

  • “I’d be interested to hear how you feel.”

  • “Would it help to talk about it?”

  • “Sometimes it helps to get it off your chest.”

  • “I’d sure like to help if I can.”

  • “Tell me about it.”

  • “I’ve got the time if you have.  Want to talk?”

Another important factor is the use of Silence.  The listener’s willingness to keep quiet is usually understood as reasonable evidence of interest and concern.

They need occasional acknowledgments of their messages, such as: Eye contact, Nodding, “I see,” “Interesting,” etc.

When they have got their basic point made you should use active listening; restate what they have said in your own words.  As example:

1.  trainee:  “I don’t know how I’m going to untangle this messy problem.”
trainer: “You’re really stumped on how to solve this one.”

2.  trainee:  “I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening to you.  I guess my mind is occupied with a problem at home with my son, Gregg.  He’s all screwed up.”
trainer:  “Sounds like you’re really worried about Gregg.”

This communicates:

  • I hear what you are feeling.

  • I understand how you are seeing things now.

  • I am interested and concerned.

  • I do not judge or evaluate you.

  • You don’t have to feel afraid of my censure.

Roadblock techniques you should avoid:

1.  Ordering, Directing, Commanding.

  • You must do this…

  • You cannot do this,,,

  • I expect you to do this…

  • Stop it.

  • Go apologize to her.

2.  Warning, Admonishing, Threatening

  • You had better do this…

  • If you don’t do this then…

  • You better not try that.

  • I warn you, if you do that…

3.  Judging, Criticizing, Disagreeing, Blaming

  • You are acting foolishly.

  • You are not thinking straight

  • You are out of line

  • You didn’t do it right

  • You are wrong.

  • That is a stupid thing to say.

4.  Name-calling, Ridiculing, Shaming

  • You are a fuzzy thinker

  • You really goofed on this one!

5.  Distracting, Directing, Kidding

  • Think about the positive side

  • Try not to think about it until you’re rested

  • Let’s have lunch and forget about it

  • That reminds me of the time when…

  • You think you’ve got problems!

6.  Interpreting, Analyzing, Diagnosing

  • You’re saying this because you’re angry.

  • You are jealous.

  • What you really need is…

  • You have problems with authority.

  • You want to look good

  • You are being a bit paranoid.

If you are looking for other positive ways to deal with problems beside active listening:

1.  Moralizing, Imploring

  • You should do this.

  • You ought to try it.

  • It’s your responsibility to do this.

  • It is your duty to do this.

  • I wish you would do this.

  • I urge you to do this.

2.  Advising, Giving Suggestions or Solutions

  • What i think you should do is this…

  • Let me suggest…

  • It would be best for you if…

  • Why not take a different approach?

  • The best solution is…

3.  Persuading with Logic, Lecturing.

  • Do you realize that…

  • The facts are in favor of…

  • let me give you the facts.

  • Here is the right way.

  • Experience tells us that…

4.  Praising, Agreeing, Evaluating Positively.

  • You usually have very good judgment

  • You are an intelligent person

  • You have so much potential

  • You’ve made quite a bit of progress.

  • You have always made it in the past.

5.  Reassuring, Sympathizing, Consoling, Supporting

  • You’ll feel different tomorrow.

  • Things will get better.

  • It is always darkest before the dawn.

  • Behind every cloud there is a silver lining.

6.  Probing, Questioning, Interrogating

  • Why did you do that?

  • How long have you felt this way?

  • What have you done to try to solve it?

  • Have you consulted with anyone?

  • When did you become aware of this feeling?

  • Who has influenced you?

When you help the trainee own the problem:

  • You’re a listener

  • You’re a counselor

  • You want to help the other

  • You’re a sounding board

  • You facilitate the other to find their own solution

  • You’re primarily interested in the other’s needs.

Application

What kind of church do you want?

What kind of relationship do you want?

What kind of person do you want to be?

My Characteristics:

(pick only one from each line)

Good Listener                  Good talker
Accessible                        Hard to find
Decisive                          Avoids decisions
Gracious                          Self-Promoting
Keeps it simple                Makes it complicated
Optimistic                       Pessimistic
Gives credit                    Takes credit
Confronts problems          Avoids problems
Speaks directly                Manipulates
Acknowledges mistakes    Blames others
Says Yes                         Explains why it can’t be done
Enthusiastic                    Placid
Seeks strong subordinatesSeeks week subordinates
Positive attitude             Negative attitude
A Leader                            A Follower                                               Usually  Sometimes  Rarely

1.  I look for positive challenges
during periods of change                                    
2.  I’m willing to take risks
and learn from mistakes                                     
3.  I regularly acknowledge
others accomplishments                                     
4.  I reflect the values
I claim to believe in.                                         
5.  I look for ways
to share power                                                 
6.  I delegate tasks with
authority and decisiveness                       
7.  I have written long range plans
and I am committed to them                
8.  I know how to motivate
other people                                      
9.  I know how to promote
team effort and spirit.                         
10.  I regularly give honest con-
structive feedback                               
11.  I make decisions in a
timely manner                                      

Any questions you answered as a Follower or Sometimes/Rarely, should become your goals.

Christian Model

Lee Iacocca

In 1944, Leander McCormick-Goodheart, a recruiter for the Ford Motor Company, toured fifty universities across the United States to recruit the outstanding graduating student of each institution.  At Lehigh University, he met a young man named Lee Iacocca and offered him a position at Ford.  This was a dream come true for Iacocca.  His greatest ambition was to one day work for Ford.  Yet Iacocca asked if he could delay the starting date of his employment for one year.  He had the opportunity to earn a masters degree from Princeton University.  Even though the ambitious and talented Iacocca had the opportunity to launch his meteoric auto-making career immediately upon his graduation, he determined to be fully prepared for whatever opportunities might come his way in the future.  While there are some well-documented stories of uneducated who “made it big,” these are the exception.  Most of the great leaders have taken the time to properly prepare themselves at the outset of their careers.

Student Prayer

Help me, Father, to utilize the wonderful gifts and graces that you have seen fit to grant me.  Bless me as I attempt to be the pest person I can be, the person you made me to be.  Amen.

Homework

List your leadership goals:

Goal 1

Goal 2

Goal 3

Goal 4

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About georgehach

I am a retired Lay Minister, acting as a prophet for God to understand the end times that is comingg and how to prepare for it.
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